Well, my bags are finally packed for Bonnaroo.  Since I am a first timer, I have packed according to feedback from Roo veterans.  This includes people I have never met before who have so selflessly given various tips via the internet.  Taking random interweb advice may or may not have been good idea.  The great thing is that I will find out soon enough.

Here is a top ten list of what can be found in my backpack:

1)      Green, rectangular pieces of paper made of out a cotton fiber base with portraits of dead US Presidents on them – I heard there may be some bartering going on at the festival.  So I decided to trade these silly little pictures for goods and services.

2)      100 condoms – No, I am not Hugh Hefner but trust me when I say that these make for great water balloons.  And who doesn’t like to get pegged by a water balloon in 100 degree heat.  Especially a condom water balloon.

3)      A parachute – For safe landing when I try to fly to far away places.

4)      A magic marker – To draw creative pictures on the bodies of the people sharing my RV while they are fast asleep.

5)      Sex Panther Cologne – It’s illegal in nine countries.  It’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.  60% of the time, it works every time.

6)      iPhone – Who needs a cigarette lighter these days when you can just wave a lit iPhone around during a set.  Isn’t technology great?

7)      Ramen Noodles & Instant Rice – Only the best for a growing boy.

8)      Airplane vodka bottles – What exactly did you think I was going to fill my Camelbak with?  Surely not water.

9)      Air Guitar – Self Explanatory.

10)  A sense of adventure – Of course.

-Chris Dino

(Image via Cooler Heads Blog)