I am not certain if my information is 100% accurate as to the extent of this scourge but I definitely know that at least 3 countries have taken on an invasion of CMJ this year. As if on their own native soil they’ve setup access to food, their thinkers and musicians and more often than not luring innocent fair goers with free drinks, drinks as in alcoholic booze. I thought music is supposed to be contentious, in the eye of the beholder, for each one their taste, it doesn’t seem like we’re taking this as serious as say if a WTO meeting were to take place in our city. Take it from someone who knows their history this will not end well, first the French will setup two nights of French bands and next they’ll revive monsieur Buonaparte and then it’s good bye Louisiana or *gasp* Texas.
When Ceasar said: “Hey, let’s give the masses bread and entertainment”, as these insolent invaders are seeming to do, what he didn’t expect was the response from Brutus: “Hey, I find this knife in your back really entertaining right now, Ceasar”, and all history’s ever heard from Caesar afterward was “gurgle, gurgle, ooooooh”. So, dear fellows, let’s start misunderstanding more and rush to the venues of the occupants listed below (at the times also provided below).
New Zealand is first out of the gate, on Tuesday of October 18th their showcase is at Le Poisson Rouge (conveniently close to where you pick up your badge) starting at 6PM. There will be beverages by the traitors from 42 Below vodka and pies, pies from DUB Pies. There’s a video sampler of the bands below, which tonight include Princess Chelsea, Pickachunes, Popstrangers, The Golden Awesome, Street Chant (on a whole US tour!), Andrew Keoghan, and Cairo Knife Fight. Cairo Knife Fight, you see the kind of things these people will come up with? Don’t stand for it, go on down to LPR and tell ‘em that what (remember: to avoid being entertained drink vodka cocktails to ward off the spells).
“‘The French are coming’, ‘The French are coming’, bravely yelled Thomas Payne, a member of T-Pain“, said noted political historian Michele Bachmann when relating the account of how Tex-Mex cuisine was invented. Indeed they are coming and are basically opening a whole embassy in New York, an entire musical embassy. The France Rocks Musical Embassy For Your Mouths And Ear have two showcases: one on Wednesday 19th at Hiro Ballroom and another on Thursday night the 20th at Santo’s Party House. These shows are as follows:
DAY 1: Wednesday October 19th
8pm - The Lanskies | [OFFICIAL VIDEO] The Lanksies – Bank Holiday
9pm – Hindi Zahra | [UNPLUGGED] Hindi Zahra – The Man I love
10pm – The Two | [OFFICIAL VIDEO] The Two – Everyday
11pm – Revolver | [OFFICIAL VIDEO] Revolver – Get Around Town
12am – Chateau Marmont | [TEASER] Chateau Marmont – US/CA Tour Fall 2011
They even dare to make fun of themselves:
DAY 2: Thursday October 20th
9pm – Stranded Horse | [UNPLUGGED] Stranded Horse – Jolting Moon
10pm – The Inspector Cluzo | [OFFICIAL VIDEO] The Inspector Cluzo – The French Bastards
11pm – Zenzile | [OFFICIAL VIDEO] Zenzile – Simple Lesson
12am – Yuksek | [OFFICIAL VIDEO] Yuksek – Tonight
You’ll notice that quite a few of the above songs are song in English, the sacred language of Luke Perry and Mitt Romney, so my occupation suggestion is to learn French, go to the above showcases and speak only in French. That is sure to le fleur them.
Not to be out-done (by anyone but sage Russian Vikings) the Swedish have taken up October 19th morning as their own at our nation’s preeminent falafel importer NY University . I bet it’ll feature talks on “How To Live Sexily, Dreamily and Almost Perfectly Harmoniously”, or some junk pamphlets like: “How We Divide Our Countries Wealth To Make 99% Of The People Happy”. Yucko. This is the Swedish Pop Expo härskande dagordning for that morning, starting at 11AM:
- Free Swedish Breakfast at NYU Kimmel Center!
- USA debuting Täby band You Say France & I Whistle first New York show
- The New Way of Selling and Buying Music with Music Help CEO Peter Åstedt
Look at that, free breakfast, having fun with plush animals, why I swear I just don’t know what innocent we must execute to restore the dignity of our dear nation.