This video shows a brief glimpse into a model human trafficking casting call in a small town in Siberia. The documentary is edited like a hilarious silent film with caption cards explaining the background, one helpfully explains that casting calls take place in towns that are close to the trans-Siberian railroad, I assume this has to do with an easier commute for the “talent” scouts.

The gist of this process is explained on camera by a Russian man in a dark suit who says: “I like them to be 13 because they are easy to command, when they are 16-18 they start having ideas of their own”. This is my new thing to say about everything that doesn’t go my way now. Someone bumps me on the subway? “I liked you when you were 13 and were easy to command!” A waiter brings the wrong order? “I LIKED YOU WHEN YOU WERE 13 AND WERE EASY TO COMMAND!” etc. This along with “sorry, I forgot you were a cunt“: mantras for life.